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General Discussion · JOKES | |
futuremoney msg #59993 |
2/26/2008 10:44:56 PM Now, this is funny! A man was in a long line at Wal-mart. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register. She asked, 'What size condoms?' The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Register 5.' The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5.' A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.? She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said... (you'll love this one...................) 'Cleanup, Register 5' |
General Discussion · JOKES | |
futuremoney msg #59992 |
2/26/2008 10:42:32 PM The boss came into the office the other day sporting a snappy new suit. "Nice threads," I commented. "Where'd you pick 'em up?" He beamed self satisfied, "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?" "Not bad. What was the occasion?" "Got me," admitted the boss with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom." |
General Discussion · Stock Investors | |
futuremoney msg #56626 |
11/9/2007 1:39:14 PM Has anyone used or know of anyone who has used the Stock Investors software? |
General Discussion · Stock Investor's Software | |
futuremoney msg #56102 |
10/28/2007 9:30:23 AM Has anyone here us Stock Investor's Software, and if so what is your opinion. Thanks |
General Discussion · JOKES | |
futuremoney msg #51048 |
4/12/2007 9:38:58 PM The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was due to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife good-bye and said, "Well, I'm off now, the man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to." Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and I!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted. |
General Discussion · MUDDY WEB SITE?? | |
futuremoney msg #51047 |
4/12/2007 9:36:21 PM Below is the chat room URL. http://mysite.verizon.net/vzeu44ws/greenonthescreen/ |
Filter Exchange · Any brokers that dont require minimum balance? | |
futuremoney msg #46069 |
7/25/2006 7:53:55 PM lowtrades.com |
General Discussion · * * * H O T T I P S * * * | |
futuremoney msg #45899 |
7/15/2006 2:44:45 PM Browser Report Pick for July 06: Ace*Com ticker: ACEC |
General Discussion · * * * H O T T I P S * * * | |
futuremoney msg #45505 |
7/6/2006 11:53:41 PM United: Not sure what you mean about not understanding the program. I suggest you call them and ask for a free sample newsletter. If they will not send you one, post your mailing address and I will make a copy of the latest report and mail it to you. The July report will be mailed out on 13th., therefore I will be able to give you the stock of the month next weekend. |
General Discussion · * * * H O T T I P S * * * | |
futuremoney msg #45129 |
6/19/2006 5:32:30 PM jbrtrader - Ignore jbrtrader - Report offensive post 6/19/2006 5:21:45 PM Futuremoney,nice tip on MRY.This one has good potential to continue up after making a fresh five year high.Thanks ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- You are welcome Looks like we need some more winning post here |
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