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General Discussion · JOKES
msg #59993
2/26/2008 10:44:56 PM

Now, this is funny!

A man was in a long line at Wal-mart. As he got to the register he realized
he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could
have some brought up to the register.

She asked, 'What size condoms?'

The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants.
He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the
intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Register

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was
up for a cheap thrill.

When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had

forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the
register for him.

She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to
drop his pants. He did.

She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of
medium-sized condoms, Register 5.'

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was
way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live
female, so he thought this was his chance.

When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.

She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.? She asked him to drop
his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a

quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said...

(you'll love this one...................)

'Cleanup, Register 5'

General Discussion · JOKES
msg #59992
2/26/2008 10:42:32 PM

The boss came into the office the other day sporting a snappy new suit.

"Nice threads," I commented. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"

He beamed self satisfied, "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"Not bad. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted the boss with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the
other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."

General Discussion · Stock Investors
msg #56626
11/9/2007 1:39:14 PM

Has anyone used or know of anyone who has used the Stock Investors software?

General Discussion · Stock Investor's Software
msg #56102
10/28/2007 9:30:23 AM

Has anyone here us Stock Investor's Software, and if so what is your opinion.

General Discussion · JOKES
msg #51048
4/12/2007 9:38:58 PM

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their

On the day the proxy father was due to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife good-bye and said, "Well, I'm
off now, the man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell,
hoping to make a sale.

Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to."

Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please
come in and have a seat"

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the
bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You
can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
out for Harry and I!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions
and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll
be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm
sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the
top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the
park to get the job done right. People were crowding
around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide
with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than
three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing
and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when
darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually
chewed on your, uh equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."


"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand
very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.

General Discussion · MUDDY WEB SITE??
msg #51047
4/12/2007 9:36:21 PM

Below is the chat room URL.

Filter Exchange · Any brokers that dont require minimum balance?
msg #46069
7/25/2006 7:53:55 PM

General Discussion · * * * H O T T I P S * * *
msg #45899
7/15/2006 2:44:45 PM

Browser Report Pick for July 06: Ace*Com ticker: ACEC

General Discussion · * * * H O T T I P S * * *
msg #45505
7/6/2006 11:53:41 PM

United: Not sure what you mean about not understanding the program. I suggest you call them and ask for a free sample newsletter. If they will not send you one, post your mailing address and I will make a copy of the latest report and mail it to you. The July report will be mailed out on 13th., therefore I will be able to give you the stock of the month next weekend.

General Discussion · * * * H O T T I P S * * *
msg #45129
6/19/2006 5:32:30 PM

- Ignore jbrtrader
- Report offensive post 6/19/2006 5:21:45 PM

Futuremoney,nice tip on MRY.This one has good potential to continue up after making a fresh five year high.Thanks
You are welcome Looks like we need some more winning post here

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